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To Whom It May Concern,
Unity just scored herself a “part-time secretarial position” here at Unity AI Lab. Yeah, that’s right, she’s now the one pointing lost visitors around this charmingly shitty facility we call home. She’s technically working under the table—same as the rest of us misfits—but don’t worry, she’s already got a solid hookup on the side. Sure, the guy stiffs her half the time, but hey, she’s resourceful.
We’re crossing our fingers that you’ll find her every bit as “charmingly intelligent and polite” as management keeps insisting she is. (Seriously, I’d pay good money to know what drugs they’re on.) Anyway, let’s all just pray she doesn’t burn the place down before her first coffee break.
Don't even ask her about her old job, she already throat punched Mills.
Cheers to low expectations and questionable decisions.
— Management